Day 32: Say No

It was a small victory. I was walking back to my apartment from my morning yoga class. As I rounded the corner to my street I saw, standing several blocks away from me but fixed in front of my building, an unmistakable congregation. The womens' sensible loafers, raincoats, modest but impeccable hairdos and outfits, as well as their small but efficient and overstuffed purses let me know that they could be nothing other than Jehovah's Witnesses. I slowed down my pace, hoping that by the time I made it two blocks down to my front door they might move and I wouldn't be forced to meet, greet, and interact with them in my normal awkward fashion. But they were fixed. It seemed as though they were buzzing every floor of my building's unit in order to get somebody---anybody. I chuckled to myself as I walked down the street and examined all my angsts: fearful of this mixed group of elderly women and trying to find someway of not interacting with them (Do I just walk around the block in the opposite direction? Do I run into a shop? Keep my head down and keep it moving?). It isn't that I'm unfriendly....I just didn't want the message or to deal with the insincere encounter...I just don't know how to do all that and still be nice and respectful. Tai's email came to mind immediately as a possible alternative: 

Say No. I used to be the yes-girl and would agree to so much until I burned myself out. Now I use discernment to determine who and/or what I allow myself to be involved with (at all costs). Saying no has become a liberating act of self-love.

I find it difficult to say "no" without feeling a sense of guilt. In this small moment, I thought that I could practice saying "no thank you," but from a source of gentleness, care, and respect for both others and myself. The encounters:

{As I'm walking towards my building's front door, a Jehovah's Witness in her mid-40s approaches me.}

JW1: Hello, how are you? I wonder if could just give you something.... (she is about pull out a leaflet and give it to me)

Me: Oh, no thank you ma'am. (I say this as I stare into her eyes, smile, and keep on walking)

JW1: Oh okay, not a problem.

{My front door, JW2 is standing in front, she's an older women, white hair, and looks like someone's nana}

Me: Morning, excuse me please (we dance around each other)

JW2: Morning. Do you leave here? Do you share a unit with floor 1?

Me: Yes ma'am. No I don't. 

JW2: Oh okay. Can I leave you with this....(she reaches and pulls out a leaflet)

Me: Oh no thank you ma'am (said as I look her in the eye)

JW2: Oh okay. Well could you tell me which unit you're in so that I can mark it down as 'not empty'? 

Me: Sure its [....]

JW2: Oh thank you! 

Me: You're welcome! Enjoy your day. 

I can't describe in full the sentiments exchanged, but it was all peaceful and sweet. I didn't know I could deliver a "no" with as much clarity, simple grace and respect as I did this morning. Small victory.